The right kind of confrontation

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[vimeo id="95746940"] Confrontation is a part of life that unfortunately can be difficult for many people to navigate. The issues that come up in relationships, whether intentional or not, must be dealt with in an appropriate way. This is an important skill for all leaders to learn and develop. Here are a few ways that I think can help you navigate the confrontation in a way that is productive, healthy and produces a positive ending.



First of all, establish the end goal for the conversation. When you begin your conversation with the person you need to confront; be clear about your intentions. The main thing in this type of exchange is to make sure that relationship grows and develops from the situation. Value the person more than the desire to be right. If you let your desire to “win“ the argument overpower the person, then you can be sure that conversation is no longer about the growth of the relationship – it’s about your own unhealthy motives.



Secondly, choose your words carefully.  This is especially true when the confrontation involves a previous heated argument. Keep in mind this confrontation is not about the other person; it’s about the issue and resolving that issue. Always attack the situation and not the person. Choose words that will guide the conversation in a constructive way. If you lash out in angst and anger, you will say things that you do not mean and you’ve allowed your emotionally charged words to dictate an unhealthy ending to the conflict. So choose healthy words. Keep emotions under control.



Thirdly, set realistic expectations.  The ultimate goal is obviously to move forward and grow from the confrontation. However, sometimes conflict resolution takes several conversations before it’s over. Through each conversation you are establishing new growth to the relationship. Depending on the scope of the relationship, whether with coworkers, bosses, friends or family, the solution will come about as long as you maintain the right perspective of growing the relationship.



Whenever going through confrontation stay motivated and positive, and be patient. Confrontation takes time, but if you stay the course, I guarantee you will discover growth and development in your life and in the life of the other person.



I trust these points have encouraged you today. I’d like to ask you, what has your experience been with confrontation? How did you navigate it? I’d love to hear from you. Have a great day!