What does it mean to love others as a Christian?
Many of us have heard 1 Corinthians 13:4-8 read at weddings or preached from the pulpit to describe what love is. It reads,
“Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails…”
I don’t know about you, but I often fall extremely short of this list. It’s hard to love patiently, to not seek our own wants and desires and to not be easily angered. It feels next to impossible to keep no record of wrongs. And the hardest of all, to “always” trust, hope, and persevere, no matter what — I don’t think any of us are capable of that.
Yet, I don’t believe this list is meant to be used to beat ourselves over the head with or to discourage us. I believe it is describing perfect love, and in doing so, pointing us to something better than we’re capable of in our own strength — to someone better. I believe it is describing Christ and His perfect love.
Christ is the only one to ever live a sinless life and perfectly fulfill all of God’s commandments. And in doing so, Christ loved perfectly. He met this list completely, in every interaction with every person, every time — something we will never be able to do. But, it reminds us that we serve a perfect, loving God who did and who we can turn to for help, support, and guidance as we walk out trying to love one another, as Christ does.
Here are three things to remember about loving others as a Christian.
1. We can’t truly love apart from God.
1 John 4:16 tells us that “we have come to know and to believe the love that God has for us. God is love, and whoever abides in love abides in God, and God abides in him.”
In this verse, we learn that God Himself is love. It’s not an attribute he possesses or just part of His character — it’s who He is. Therefore, if we truly love, we love with God’s love. We live in Him and He lives in us.
However, the opposite is also true. We can’t truly love others outside of God or in our own strength. All of our striving to be better friends, spouses, and parents will not make us better at loving others — only God can do that. And it is through our relationship with Christ that we can truly love, and grow in how we love and care for others. But it doesn’t come from us. It comes as a result of our relationship with Christ. Therefore, if we want to better love others as Christians, we must invite Christ into our lives, and allow Him to love through us.
2. We can love others because Christ first loved us.
In 1 John 4:9-10, we learn that “This is how God showed his love among us: He sent his one and only Son into the world that we might live through him. This is love: not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as an atoning sacrifice for our sins.” Verse 19 concludes that “We love because he (Christ) first loved us.”
Here, we are reminded that we are not loved by God because of our deeds or because we chose God. We are loved because He chose us. As Paul says in Romans 5:8, “God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.”
Therefore, we can have confidence in Christ’s love for us. That no matter what we do, or how many times we sin or fall short, His love will remain. We do not need to live striving for perfection or to always “do” the right thing in the right way. Rather, we can serve God with confidence and with joy, knowing His love will never fail or desert us (John 15:11, 1 John 4:17-18). And in the same way, it can guide how we love others as Christians: with grace.
3. We are to love others as Christ loves us.
1 John 4:7 tells us to “love one another, for love comes from God. Everyone who loves has been born of God and knows God.” However, it goes on to say that “Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love” (verse 8).
We are to love others as Christians because of God’s love for us. We are to be marked by our love for others. Without it, John states that we do not know God, because it is who He is.
In John 15:12-13, Jesus tells us, “My command is this: Love each other as I have loved you. Greater love has no one than this: to lay down one’s life for one’s friends.”
Christ Himself commands us to love others as He has loved us. How? In sacrificing our lives and laying them down for others. We are to love others as Christians without reservation, even when it’s difficult and painful, when they reject us, when they disagree with us, and even when they don’t follow Christ themselves. Why? Because that is how Christ loved us.
He loved us when we were sinners, and continued to show grace toward us even when we were in rebellion against Him. We are called to love others in the same way. Not in our own strength, but in His, walking beside Him and living in Him as He lives in us — that others might see Him and come to know Christ as their Savior.
Loving others is never easy — especially not as Christ has called us to do as Christians. Yet, we must remember that this is not something we are supposed to try to do in our own strength or produce in ourselves. It is God’s love, working in and through us, that gives us the strength and grace to love others as Christians. And it is in Him and His love that we find our peace, strength, and hope (Romans 5:5).