Leadership isn’t always picture-perfect. Disagreements arise on every team, and throughout your leadership journey, you’ll likely find yourself having to lead those you disagree with. It’s important to remember that no opinion is perfect, and that your opinions will be challenged and opposed as you lead people with different backgrounds and perspectives.
As a leader, your goal should always be to work toward unity and avoid burning bridges. In doing so, you’ll have to learn to handle disagreements with grace and prioritize relationships over winning arguments.
Here are five tips for how to disagree respectfully and resolve conflicts with those you lead.
Handle disagreements privately.
Often, when tensions arise within a team, people want to be in on the drama. They may try to pick sides, gossip or make assumptions about what is happening. It’s crucial to handle disagreements privately with those involved to avoid heightening the issue.
When an employee disagrees with you, avoid calling them out in front of the rest of the team. Instead, when everyone else is gone, ask to speak with them one-on-one in a way that won’t draw attention. Respecting your employees’ privacy shows that you are considerate of them and their reputation, and it may make them more open to working with you to resolve the issue.
Prioritize relationships.
Overcome the urge to avoid those you disagree with. Instead, focus on getting to know them. Initiate relaxed, friendly interactions with the person. Chat with them during downtime, offer to meet with them regularly or invite them to lunch.
As you speak with them, ask questions that can help you learn about their background and personality. What do they value? What are their dreams? How do they envision an ideal workplace? These conversations can help you relate to the person amidst the situation you’re facing, and allow them to do the same. You still might not see eye-to-eye, but getting to know them will help you develop a stronger sense of empathy and appreciation for them as a person.
Practice self-reflection.
Once you’ve gotten to know the person you disagree with, take the time to do some self-analysis. Do you have any assumptions about them or biases that you’re holding onto? Are there any areas where you are being insensitive or unnecessarily inflexible?
Take note of these things as you self-reflect, and ask for honest feedback from those you trust. Consult a friend, mentor or loved one who can help make you aware of your preconceived notions and offer fair advice as you approach the disagreement.
Compromise when appropriate.
As you consider the disagreement you find yourself in, you may discover that there is room for compromise. You may be able to include the other person’s ideas and respect their beliefs while still remaining true to your values and those of your organization.
Other times, however, compromising with those you disagree with may not be possible as it isn’t in the best interest of the team or because it would sacrifice the values of the organization. During times like these, it’s important to not focus on being right or let the issue be resolved without providing proper closure. Instead, make it clear why you were unable to incorporate your team member’s ideas and tell them that you appreciate their point of view.
Admit when you’re wrong.
Sometimes, as the situation progresses, you may find that you were in the wrong. Maybe you handled the situation incorrectly, jumped to conclusions or allowed biases to cloud your judgment.
The most difficult, but most rewarding thing you can do as a leader is to admit when you’re wrong. Share that with your employee, apologize if necessary and thank them for their insight. They will appreciate your demonstration of growth and humility.
Conflict and disagreement are inevitable. However, you don’t need to fear them. Instead, view disagreements as an opportunity for you to grow as a leader and further your empathy and understanding toward others. So, the next time you find yourself in a disagreement, seek to understand the other person — you may have more in common with them than you realize.