Parenting a College Student: 3 Helpful Tips to Help You Navigate Your Role

A mother parenting a college student, her son, while posing outside.

After eighteen years supporting your child, sending them off to college on their own may feel daunting. Although you can be excited for what the future holds, it’s often difficult to navigate this new relationship.

As a parent myself, I had a tough time saying goodbye to my three children when they went to college, even though they were close to home. During those seasons, I learned to allow them to be their own person without being directly under my supervision.

The incredible part about the college experience is having your student grow into adulthood with mentorship opportunities all around them from faculty and staff members. These are people who want to invest in your child and help them to be the best adult that they can.

Here are three ways you can navigate parenting a college student.

1. Discuss boundaries with your student.

As you begin this new stage of life with your student, it’s crucial that you establish healthy boundaries. Recognize that there is a change in power dynamics, as they shift from being under your supervision to being on their own. Your student no longer has to report their every move and decision to you.

Make sure you and your child talk through these changes. Be sure to trust your child as they begin this new stage, and don’t be upset if they lessen their communication in the first few months. Respect their newfound independence and discuss what their hopes are for future communication with you — and don’t set unrealistic expectations for how often or how much they will share. Instead, don’t be afraid to let conversations happen naturally when they reach out to share exciting news or ask for advice.

2. Give them independence.

Let’s face it, after being a part of your child’s every movement since birth, releasing them from your home can be overwhelming. You may be asking yourself if your student is even ready for this next chapter of life.

Be sure to trust how you raised them. Your student is likely more prepared for this new chapter than you realize.

When parenting a college student, it’s important to recognize that you don’t need to intervene in every decision they make. Your child must learn how to deal with the consequences or results of their actions. It’s a significant part of leading them into adulthood. As they adjust to college life and make their own choices, be sure to give them space. Try to make a point of waiting to communicate with them until they reach out to you first.

When your child encounters issues with roommates, professors or even campus services (such as Financial Aid), don’t try to jump in and handle it yourself. Rather, discuss the issue with your student and encourage them to take the lead in solving the problem and work through the issue on their own. It’s important that they learn to navigate difficult and uncomfortable situations, particularly with roommates and peers. If something still seems challenging for them, point them to the support systems they have on their campus, including their resident assistants (RAs), and campus pastors and counselors.

3. Support their academic journey.

While you want your student to have independence, it’s also important that you support them throughout their college experience. Students with involved parents are more likely to graduate. Let your student know that you are always there for them to bounce off ideas or just to process their day.

Make sure you don’t put certain academic expectations on them their first year, such as getting a perfect 4.0 GPA. Don’t constantly check their grades or monitor their deadlines. Rather, encourage them to set their own schedules and manage their academic responsibilities. If their grades slip and they share their frustrations with you, refer them to academic tutoring services and encourage them to get help from their professors.

When you talk to your student, ask them what classes they enjoy and which ones they struggle with. Encourage them to share why certain subjects excite them and why they find others challenging. This can give you a sense of what areas they may need extra support in and help you encourage them. But remember to only give advice when they ask for it, otherwise, they may feel stifled or overwhelmed.

As someone with experience parenting a college student, I know firsthand that the first few months of adapting to your child being away and independent will be challenging. There will be bumps in your relationship along the way as you both adjust to this new phase of life. However, as you watch them tackle new responsibilities and take their first steps into adulthood, you’ll be able to cheer them on and enjoy watching them grow.

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